Wednesday, August 02, 2006

It seems that lately I've been asked what's the matter a lot. Really, I don't know. There are so many things that have been running through my head this last week I guess that I don't have time to process them all.

I've been thinking a lot about my career path that I am currently on. Is this something that I really want to be doing? Would I really rather be teaching? Who knows. I was suppose to pick and be content in my decision, I just have to keep reminding myself of that... daily.

The other thing that has really been bothering me... our world. Does anything good happen anymore. It seems as though every time I turn around someone is asking for prayers for a family or a loved one who is dying, very ill or had already passed away. I mean just today I received an email from a friend about her nephew that needs prayers, by then end of the email it seemed as though everyone in the whole family had something tragic going on and needs prayers.

I just received a phone call from my brother, his girlfriend is flying home tonight because her dad is in the hospital with "all kinds of bad things happening" as quoted from my brother. Apparently he is having kidney failure amongst other issues.

Sunday in class at church it really did make me sad to sit and listen to all the prayer requests. Does anything good happen anymore in this world? Maybe right now my eyes are just closed to it. Maybe Satan is trying to kick me while I'm down and not letting me see all the good things. The one good thing that was mentioned in class, Rand's daughter is coming home from language school Sunday! Everything else was illness, death and tragedy.

These next few days I am going to try to think of all the things that I am thankful for. When you actually start to make a list, it's rather amazing how blessed we truly are. I think that it's just that it's easier to remember the bad stuff than the good. Much I golf, you could shoot and 80, but all that you would think about was that one putt that you missed that kept you from that 79!

Things that I am thankful for:

  • A God that loves me for me and was willing to sacrifice his son for my mistakes.
  • Grace for when I do make those mistakes
  • Parents that are still married and still love each other
  • A family that is close, we are more like friends than siblings
  • A husband that loves me very much and makes me laugh everyday
  • A beautiful house to live in
  • Food on the table (although sometimes it doesn't seems like it but that's just because I don't really like going to the grocery store)
  • In-laws who love me like their own child, sometimes more!!
  • A whole second family in the Strickland's, although I never get to talk to them much I know that they are there and always will be!
  • Friends that I can count on anytime, day or night, all we'll need is a box of tissues!
  • My health, I think (I find out about cholesterol tomorrow)
  • The ability to save money to buy new things (even though in the grand scheme of things it's all just "stuff")
  • The thought that if we ever feel satisfied here on Earth, it's not even close to the satisfaction that we will feel when we are with our Father in Heaven.
  • The ability to read
  • To write.
  • To love.
  • To be passionate about something.

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I was just reading back through my last post and it all makes since. A week and a half ago I was amazed by all the blessing. This week, disturbed by all the disappointments. Sometimes it's so hard to see when Satan is messing with your heart and you have no idea why things are going on. It's so obvious now what was happening to me this last week. You have one good week and Satan says "oh no, don't think that I'm letting that happen two weeks in a row" and bam... I get sad. But not now. "Get behind me Satan!"

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